Today it hit me that I was given the greatest blessings I could have ever been given when God gave me my daughter. I cried the day I found out I was pregnant. And I cried for the rest of my pregnancy. She wasn't in my plans, and I was upset that God was changing my plans. I could never have imagined the joy that would be brought to me through her smile, laugh, and sweet pats. Life with Kairi Hope is NOT easy. She's a diva to the ninth-degree. But she is MY diva. She can also be my sweetheart. And when she laid her head on my shoulder and told me nighnigh this evening, I was overwhelmed w/ joy, love and gratitude.
You would have thought that I had learned something from my first child and pregnancy and would have known what a blessing another child would be. But I apparently didn't realize what an amazing gift I was being given, because I once again bawled when I saw the positive pregnancy test for Alex. Timing wasn't right again. I was afraid that I had stolen Kairi's babyhood from her. I felt like I was never going to be able to be myself again. I didn't realize that God was sculpting me into the woman I am becoming by giving me my second child. I also didn't realize how much I would enjoy a second baby. He is my snuggle bug, my little man. He wants to touch and talk and play together. He is rarely upset. He smiles and laughs when I walk in the room. His face lights up when he hears my voice. I was blessed beyond belief when e came into my life.
When you become a mother, so many things change.
I can no longer watch television shows that depict a child being hurt, otherwise I don't sleep and have to stay up all night long sitting by a crib.
I haven't slept more than 4 hours at a time in two years.
When asked to do something, I immediately plan it around nap time (or during nap time if I'm blessed enough to have someone to stay with them).
I almost never consider leaving the house after 6:45, because that would equal Kairi meltdowns.
I have no qualms about discussing poop, throw up, nursing, or drool at the dinner table.
I don't have the time or energy to beat around the bush with people, so I've become much more direct.
I smile when I hear a newborn's cry.
I know better than to touch a baby without their mother's permission.
I stay up at night to watch my babies sleep.
I can sympathize with those mothers I always swore I would never be when I see their Terrible Two throwing a chicken bone across the table at Furr's (not that my daughter did that today -- nope, nu-uh :) ).
I can pull hair into a pony tail of a wiggling princess in less than five minutes and it be secure enough to stay all day, even through a nap.
And I have learned that I can carry, two babies, a purse, a diaper bag, Kairi's purse, a Bible, and three blankets into church without help. Not to say that if you see me doing such that you shouldn't offer to carry at least one child. ;) But I CAN do it if I have to.
I'm sure that there's much more that's changed, but in my sleep-deprived state those are the ones that stand out to me. :)
And before I go, here are a few pictures of the babies when they were first born.
Kairi
Alex
1 comment:
that was really sweet... i think surprise babies are the best
happy mothers day
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