The screaming in Kairi's bedroom had calmed down after being sent there.
M: Kairi, come down stairs please and talk to me.
K: Coming Mommy! sobbing
M: Kairi, what did you do to get in trouble?
K: I yell at Mommy.
M: Are you supposed to yell at Mommy?
K: Nooooo.
M: What happens when you yell at Mommy?
K: I get a spank'n.
M: And what else?
K: I go to bed.
M: Do you like spanking and being sent to bed?
K: NO!
M: Kairi, remember, don't yell, not even when answering my question. Now, when Mommy tells you to do something next time, are you going to yell at her or are you going to say yes ma'am and do what you're supposed to?
K: I'm going to do it.
M: Thank you, Kairi, that would make me happy. I don't like spanking you.
K: Love you Mommy. Hug?
M: I love you too Kairi. And then we hug.
Repeat entire scenario in about 20 minutes.
I'm TIRED of it.
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Parenting. Show all posts
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Kissing BooBoos
I remember when I was little thinking that those children around me that needed their booboos kissed on a regular basis were stupid. I couldn't understand how kissing booboos helped. A "booboo" (which I remember thinking that just the word was strange) either needed medicine or wasn't bad enough to whine about. Kissing it certainly was NOT going to help. And my mother never catered to the idea that she could kiss it and make it magically better. Instead, I remember countless lectures on the number of germs in a human mouth, hearing about how dogs and cats have cleaner mouths than people (I think that this was to discourage kissing, btw), and hearing how kissing a "booboo" would really only make it worse not better.
I also remember as I grew believing that I would NEVER kiss a booboo. The idea was preposterous. And then I had Kairi.
My daughter is a drama queen. There's no two ways about it. She will lightly tap her hand against the door and then cry as if it was broken. This being the same child that has given herself a knot on her forehead from dancing on the hearth, but not blinked. It all completely depends on how much attention she is already receiving. Recently (just over a month or so ago)someone told her that she had a booboo on her hand. I have no idea who, although I'm fairly certain it was someone at church, and I really don't care who it was that said it either. What I do care about, though is the OBSESSION with booboos. I already mentioned her noticing my "booboos" on my stomach. She also notices booboos on Brother, on Daddy, on toys, on dolls, on random strangers in Publix that have birthmarks on their face.... She notices them.
If the booboo happens to belong to her, though, she has a meltdown. Within moments tears are pouring, her chest is heaving with sobs, and she is shoving said booboo in my face. It could be the same booboo that she showed me 10 minutes ago, doesn't matter as long as it's a booboo, she's in a panic. The ONLY thing that calms this girl down is to hold whatever appendage has been hurt and then to kiss it. That calms the tears and sobs. Ask her if she's ok, and between sobs "Yes, I fine" will escape her lips. And she will hug you, and then walk away letting the sobs slowly die out on their own. You can prevent said meltdown if the very instant she notices the booboo, you grab her and kiss it and tell her it's all better, but if you're late in noticing, beware.
Today after preventing several meltdowns in a row (4 which concerned the same booboo), I got to thinking about the things I do differently now than I ever thought I would. I love kissing booboos and making them better. Even if I do think the entire time about the number of germs in my mouth (ThankyouverymuchMama). And there's other things I love to do that I never thought I would. I never thought I'd enjoy formula feeding, but I did with Kairi. And then after her I never thought I'd enjoy breastfeeding, but I loved it with Alex. I never thought I'd be passionate about the kinds of cleaners in my house, but I am and I really do enjoy finding new alternatives to keeping my house clean. I never thought I would enjoy sewing and crafts, but I do. I never thought I'd cosleep with a child, but I wouldn't have traded a single night I got to sleep with Alex for the world. I have so many "I never thoughts" that I'm proud that I at least allowed myself a chance to try them.
Especially because I will forever treasure this time when kissing booboos truly makes it all better.
I also remember as I grew believing that I would NEVER kiss a booboo. The idea was preposterous. And then I had Kairi.
My daughter is a drama queen. There's no two ways about it. She will lightly tap her hand against the door and then cry as if it was broken. This being the same child that has given herself a knot on her forehead from dancing on the hearth, but not blinked. It all completely depends on how much attention she is already receiving. Recently (just over a month or so ago)someone told her that she had a booboo on her hand. I have no idea who, although I'm fairly certain it was someone at church, and I really don't care who it was that said it either. What I do care about, though is the OBSESSION with booboos. I already mentioned her noticing my "booboos" on my stomach. She also notices booboos on Brother, on Daddy, on toys, on dolls, on random strangers in Publix that have birthmarks on their face.... She notices them.
If the booboo happens to belong to her, though, she has a meltdown. Within moments tears are pouring, her chest is heaving with sobs, and she is shoving said booboo in my face. It could be the same booboo that she showed me 10 minutes ago, doesn't matter as long as it's a booboo, she's in a panic. The ONLY thing that calms this girl down is to hold whatever appendage has been hurt and then to kiss it. That calms the tears and sobs. Ask her if she's ok, and between sobs "Yes, I fine" will escape her lips. And she will hug you, and then walk away letting the sobs slowly die out on their own. You can prevent said meltdown if the very instant she notices the booboo, you grab her and kiss it and tell her it's all better, but if you're late in noticing, beware.
Today after preventing several meltdowns in a row (4 which concerned the same booboo), I got to thinking about the things I do differently now than I ever thought I would. I love kissing booboos and making them better. Even if I do think the entire time about the number of germs in my mouth (ThankyouverymuchMama). And there's other things I love to do that I never thought I would. I never thought I'd enjoy formula feeding, but I did with Kairi. And then after her I never thought I'd enjoy breastfeeding, but I loved it with Alex. I never thought I'd be passionate about the kinds of cleaners in my house, but I am and I really do enjoy finding new alternatives to keeping my house clean. I never thought I would enjoy sewing and crafts, but I do. I never thought I'd cosleep with a child, but I wouldn't have traded a single night I got to sleep with Alex for the world. I have so many "I never thoughts" that I'm proud that I at least allowed myself a chance to try them.
Especially because I will forever treasure this time when kissing booboos truly makes it all better.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Why Was I Worried?
I was worried about how Kairi and Alex would get along. And after the first 6 months, that worry hadn't changed. Kairi was insanely jealous, mean, and rough with him. He was only home 2 days before she was hitting him in the head with hard wooden objects (3-4 times in one day). She tried to sit on him while I was nursing. She pushed him off/out of wherever she wanted to be. And he adored her.
There were days I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her. Shoot, there are still days I don't know what I'm going to do with her. She locks him in her bedroom and laughs. She pushes him out of her way. She screams "Go away Flruffer!" at him multiple times a day. She has been known to throw things at his head and to sit on him. And she demands he give her all of his toys when they're in their carseats (which he complies with every time).
However, mornings like this morning reminds me that she adores him.
Walking out of her room after first waking up this morning, she asked "Where flruffer? He wake?". No, he was asleep still, and that greatly disappointed her. About 15 minutes later he woke up. I went to pick him up out of the crib. She was at my heels "YAY! FLRUFFER WAKE! YAY ANWIX! HOOOORAY!"
Another thing you should know is the very first thing Kairi does each morning is to ask for a "banda" or banana. It is a precious thing because I only allow one per day otherwise that's all she'd eat. This morning she was still in the middle of hers when Alex woke up. She set on the floor next to Alex and took a bite, gave him a bite, took a bite, gave him a bite. I think that I'll give them both another half of a banana with breakfast this morning. They share so well!
Kairi has frequently been found "cooking" for him. And in the backseat of the car if you hand her something to eat, she first hands it to brother and then asks for another one for herself. When he cries, she pats his head and tries to comfort him (unless she caused the cry of course). When he lays on the floor to roll around, she lets him roll on top of her, and then tickles him. She won't let Dash touch Alex's penguin because it's "No Anwix's. No Dash, Anwix's." Even if Alex was the one that put penguin on Dash.
Of course they'll have their fights, but I love to see the intense love and dedication to each other that these two have. And it makes mornings more fun to know that they can't wait to see the other one.
There were days I wasn't sure what I was going to do with her. Shoot, there are still days I don't know what I'm going to do with her. She locks him in her bedroom and laughs. She pushes him out of her way. She screams "Go away Flruffer!" at him multiple times a day. She has been known to throw things at his head and to sit on him. And she demands he give her all of his toys when they're in their carseats (which he complies with every time).
However, mornings like this morning reminds me that she adores him.
Walking out of her room after first waking up this morning, she asked "Where flruffer? He wake?". No, he was asleep still, and that greatly disappointed her. About 15 minutes later he woke up. I went to pick him up out of the crib. She was at my heels "YAY! FLRUFFER WAKE! YAY ANWIX! HOOOORAY!"
Another thing you should know is the very first thing Kairi does each morning is to ask for a "banda" or banana. It is a precious thing because I only allow one per day otherwise that's all she'd eat. This morning she was still in the middle of hers when Alex woke up. She set on the floor next to Alex and took a bite, gave him a bite, took a bite, gave him a bite. I think that I'll give them both another half of a banana with breakfast this morning. They share so well!
Kairi has frequently been found "cooking" for him. And in the backseat of the car if you hand her something to eat, she first hands it to brother and then asks for another one for herself. When he cries, she pats his head and tries to comfort him (unless she caused the cry of course). When he lays on the floor to roll around, she lets him roll on top of her, and then tickles him. She won't let Dash touch Alex's penguin because it's "No Anwix's. No Dash, Anwix's." Even if Alex was the one that put penguin on Dash.
Of course they'll have their fights, but I love to see the intense love and dedication to each other that these two have. And it makes mornings more fun to know that they can't wait to see the other one.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Learning to Fail
Our church is doing a special class for parents on Sunday mornings. It's called Teaching Your Children to Mind Without Losing Yours. So far we've only had one class and it was the introduction of the series, but an interesting thought was brought up that I thought I'd pass along.
We need to teach our children how to fail. If they can't learn how to fail and move on in our homes, where it's safe, then where will they? In the video series, Kevin Lehman uses the example of spilled orange juice. When the orange juice is spilled you teach them how to handle their failure ... do you hand them a rag (which is all they really need) or do you clean it up for them while yelling/lecturing them about not being careful? Which one will actually teach them how to handle failure?
I love that idea ... it's in my home that Kairi and Alex are going to learn how to deal w/ the rest of the world. I want to teach them that when you mess up, you clean up your mess, apologize, and move on. Don't dwell on your mistakes, but do learn from them. Don't avoid things just to avoid failure (don't refuse to get the oj out of the fridge b/c you're afraid of spilling it), but instead learn to deal with the mess when it happens.
This thought was really revolutionary to me, although it seems like something that should be common sense. I hope to start looking for the areas in my relationship with my children where I can teach them to fail, instead of overreacting about something minor.
I'm really excited about the rest of this series!
We need to teach our children how to fail. If they can't learn how to fail and move on in our homes, where it's safe, then where will they? In the video series, Kevin Lehman uses the example of spilled orange juice. When the orange juice is spilled you teach them how to handle their failure ... do you hand them a rag (which is all they really need) or do you clean it up for them while yelling/lecturing them about not being careful? Which one will actually teach them how to handle failure?
I love that idea ... it's in my home that Kairi and Alex are going to learn how to deal w/ the rest of the world. I want to teach them that when you mess up, you clean up your mess, apologize, and move on. Don't dwell on your mistakes, but do learn from them. Don't avoid things just to avoid failure (don't refuse to get the oj out of the fridge b/c you're afraid of spilling it), but instead learn to deal with the mess when it happens.
This thought was really revolutionary to me, although it seems like something that should be common sense. I hope to start looking for the areas in my relationship with my children where I can teach them to fail, instead of overreacting about something minor.
I'm really excited about the rest of this series!
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